"See If the Dr. Wants to Bag Her"

Rough day for Britian, such a rough day.

This morning she had a de-sat (low blood oxygen level) and tachycardia (high heart rate) spell. Then this evening she had another de-sat and bradycardia (low heart rate) spell. Spells are bad plain and simple. It is so important in fact that NICU babies not have spells that one of the requirements for discharge is no spells within 7 days. Obviously we are far from being discharged so this requirement is the farthest thing from my mind. However, spells still shake me to my core and scare me to death.

When a spell starts the girls' nurse calls for another nurse's help and says "She is having a spell, she if the Dr. wants to bag her." ARGH! I hate those words! Witnessing one of my girls have a spell feels like I am watching them possibly pass away. Yes, these spells can be that serious!

In Britian's case no one is quite sure why she had 2 spells today. The thinking is that her ET tube got moved and was pressed up against her trachea. Her xrays showed that her ET tube is in a good location but that doesn't mean it hadn't moved earlier. She has been otherwise so stable (except for her P.I.E. episode) so I am having a hard time believing that something is wrong with her and is causing her spells. But only time will tell I suppose. All I can do is pray and pray very hard for my big girl.

I hear too often how the bigger twin in twin-to-twin transfusion can do well after birth but then begin to crash and have one issue after another. Oh how this makes my heart ache more than words can ever describe. As I wrote in my journal this evening, my girls are twins and they HAVE to stay that way. Of course I know all of this is out of my control and instead is in His hands. All I can do at this point in our journey is be there for my girls and pray, pray without ceasing.