If I was still pregnant I would be taking a belly picture today to add to my collection. But I am not, so I won't. Instead here I sit in the NICU celebrating the fact that I now have 29 week old twins, day of life 16. 29 weeks is a big milestone in the NICU world and even bigger yet because my girls are 2 weeks old which in and itself is another milestone. At 29 weeks we can begin considering and planning for cradle holding time with Mommy, yep that's me. I am hopeful that this can happen early next week if not this weekend when my family and I return to visit the girls. I have been anticipating getting to hold the girls for such a long time, I know I will be a bucket of tears with overflowing emotions when I first get to hold them in my arms.
If you have never had a preemie or a baby in the NICU you have most likely never given a second thought to the privilege you have of holding, kissing, snuggling with, and loving on your precious baby. Every fiber of me cries out to hold, caress, and kiss on my two sweet girls, but I can't. Rather I can only gently place my hand on their body, no caressing because it can irritate their tender skin. I can not kiss my girls on their head or snuggle up close to their beautiful black hair because of germs. I am left holding them in my arms suspended in the air away from my body during the rare chance that I am here for a bed linen change. I have never felt their warm body against my face or snuggled them close to my chest. Not yet, but I know the day will come, hopefully one day soon.
In my new reality every Wednesday and Friday are days to celebrate. Wednesdays are the day they were born way too early and Fridays mark a new gestational week for my sweet girls.
